“M, my dear, why all the tears?”
“Thanatos,” she whispered.
“It’s been a while my dear M; I missed you. Why have you called me?”
“I… ” she stared at him, the words lost in her mind, the feelings overwhelming, indescribable.
He stepped closer, reaching for her, “M, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” He felt a strange tremor in the air; a different, darker vibration emanating from her sorrow. She fell to her knees, wrapped her arms around her middle, rocking like a child self-comforting, silent. He felt her heart beat, fast and erratic, tasted her tears as they fell.
“Thanatos, who is he?” She asked, finally, managing words to escape her lips.
Thanatos paced feeling her emotions roll over him like waves after a tsunami. Confusion, pain, sorrow, self-hatred, all crashing over him, familiar but something different beneath all the other darkness. He looked at her again, her upturned face, green eyes begging him for solace, for answers, for clarity. He dropped to his knees but did not reach for her.
“M, my M, the other M,” she sobbed.
Thanatos’s eyes darkened, “Why do you ask me about him?”
“He confuses me, Thanatos. I don’t understand him. I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know what he expects or how to please him or how to make him forget me… or remember me.”
“Why do you ask me about him?”
“You won’t let me go and he confuses me. I don’t know what I am to him, to you. What does he want? You won’t let me go and I don’t know if he wants me to go or not. I don’t know what role I’m supposed to play anymore, Thanatos. Help me, please,” she pleaded.
Thanatos stood and walked to the fireplace, reaching for the poker to stoke the flames, feeling the heat fill the room. Staring down into the fire he said, “I do not know him.”
She stared at his back confused, “You don’t?”
He turned to look at her, “Why would I know who he is?”
“I…” she started to speak but felt a loss for words.
“What does he do to you?” Thanatos asked darkly stepping closer.
She stood and dropped her arms to her side. Silent. Her green eyes holding his gaze. He advanced slowly, like a predator stalking prey, and she inhaled deeply. Thanatos took her by the waist, pulled her close, gently kissed her neck. She dropped her head back, closed her eyes and whispered, “Thanatos, who is to set me free?”
“M what are you doing?”
“Praying for redemption.”
“What? I didn’t know you were religious?”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I think I need to run again M.”
“Anywhere. I need to run, M.”
“Run to me then.”
“My dear M, run to me, please. Stop running away and run to something.”